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angel lies by ~-tank:icon-tank:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Fixed




i spoke to an angel
again tonight
i smiled once
again tonight
shes in my dreams
again tonight
she stole my life
again tonight

she spoke to me
in delicate lies
word of passion
but in disguise
broken promises
tear soaked skies
empty streets
and lone goodbyes

a glimpse of love
within my sight
an angel stole
my life tonight
©2004-2010 ~-tank
:icon-tank:

Author's Comments

i haven't written in over a year so bear with me on this...i was just feeling...i dunno what i was feeling...anyone that even remembers me knows i hate everything i write...so, comments welcome...

Comments


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:iconcooper:
`cooper Dec 20, 2004, 9:50:18 PM
I think the first stanza could use some work, but the second and third were nicely conveyed, sorry you feel this way my friend, take care and be well :O
:iconaprigel:
~aprigel Dec 21, 2004, 8:04:24 AM
:hug:
nice to have you back!
i like it, because it rhymes without being cheesy. the second stanza is my favorite--not bad for taking such a long hiatus!

--
:tmnt1: :tmnt2: Heroes in a half shell, turtle power! :tmnt3: :tmnt4:
:iconjusi:
~jusi Dec 21, 2004, 12:23:35 PM
you're still good man, don't know about the "again tonight" useage but then it does reinforce the actual piece as a whole, especially the end. perfect rhyming though man, very well done
:icon2mo:
`2mo Dec 23, 2004, 5:23:41 PM
I agree with the first comment- the second stanza is mindblowing, excellent stuff.
:iconsanguru:
`sanguru Dec 25, 2004, 2:40:08 PM
how could i forget anything about you. ur only one of my favorite writers here. :heart: and i've missed you around.

i agree with everything that's been said so far. the repetition in the first stanza is a little too much. it is a but more subtle in the second stanza, and really shines there. over all it's just beautiful...

i've missed this.
:iconbookdiva:
`bookdiva Dec 25, 2004, 6:42:20 PM
Your feelings are right out there, I feel the sense of loss, the pain and anger, too. Well done, good metaphor for love and loss. :hug:

--
:heart: My Sissie-poo `bren
:nod::heart: °jark The Beat Goes On °matteo :nod::heart:
Be civil..no verbal abuse, no spam.
:iconangelcrossing:
~angelcrossing Feb 2, 2005, 4:56:54 AM
welcome back!
Great to see your stuff again. I thought it was really good, keep up the good work.
:iconspin0spin0suga:
~spin0spin0suga Apr 22, 2005, 11:02:13 AM
I was a little concerned with the first stanza, thinking the entire poem would be "again tonight" after every line. (I'm not a *huge* fan of those types of poems) but you pulled it together nicely. I would suggest though, if you were going to use "again tonight" a lot in the begining you may want to use that phrase in the last stanza too, to pull it together. Maybe trying something like;

[i]an angel stole my life
again tonight[/i]

but I enjoyed your poem just the same! I always love to read them.

--
:*
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December 20, 2004
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